Since I named this blog pregoaubs and I'm no longer pregnant I will no longer post on here.
Ill just have my family one here.
Till baby #2 comes see ya later blog world!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Bedtime, but good day
I need to be running to bed before I have to be up again feeding.
Yep!
I'm back to breastfeeding me baby!
If you have been reading I started out loving it, then got sore, then had raw and bleeding nipples (yeah, what a dream) then I took a 4 day break and was pumping and feeding her formula.
Now, I am feeding with no, or very little pain!!
I don't know why I feel like this is such a accomplishment but for me and her it is!! The moment when I realized today that I was going to be fine breastfeeding I felt this hate lifted. maybe not a hate...but I didn't cringe thinking about her wanted to feed again. I felt more love for my daughter and actually really look forward to our feedings.
After my meltdown monday night I called my mom and while I was on the stairs bawling my eyes out, Joe was holding Brinley feeding her a bottle and trying to take a practice test for his series 7. I just knew I need her help again, so she "oh so kindly" drove right back up to utah the next day (yep, 10 hours!) and she has been helping me out a TON!!!! She has helped me not feel overwhelm.
We have decided with Joe at work from 7am to 9pm until he takes his test for work on July 7 &16th I would go back to California with my mom next week so he could get some good studying down and sleep to pass his test and my mom can still help me so I don't have another meltdown.
If Joe doesn't pass this test his job is in jeopardy, so I want him to have all the focus he needs the next few weeks!
P.s. Have I told you how good of a baby I have!!! I love her to pieces!!!
Yep!
I'm back to breastfeeding me baby!
If you have been reading I started out loving it, then got sore, then had raw and bleeding nipples (yeah, what a dream) then I took a 4 day break and was pumping and feeding her formula.
Now, I am feeding with no, or very little pain!!
I don't know why I feel like this is such a accomplishment but for me and her it is!! The moment when I realized today that I was going to be fine breastfeeding I felt this hate lifted. maybe not a hate...but I didn't cringe thinking about her wanted to feed again. I felt more love for my daughter and actually really look forward to our feedings.
After my meltdown monday night I called my mom and while I was on the stairs bawling my eyes out, Joe was holding Brinley feeding her a bottle and trying to take a practice test for his series 7. I just knew I need her help again, so she "oh so kindly" drove right back up to utah the next day (yep, 10 hours!) and she has been helping me out a TON!!!! She has helped me not feel overwhelm.
We have decided with Joe at work from 7am to 9pm until he takes his test for work on July 7 &16th I would go back to California with my mom next week so he could get some good studying down and sleep to pass his test and my mom can still help me so I don't have another meltdown.
If Joe doesn't pass this test his job is in jeopardy, so I want him to have all the focus he needs the next few weeks!
P.s. Have I told you how good of a baby I have!!! I love her to pieces!!!
1st mental breakdown
I'm in the middle of it now trying to decided what to do. I'm having a
hard time recovering and breastfeeding. Well I can't do it and my poor
dog is sick and I don't think I've changed clothes for days (beside when
my friend came to take pictures of brinley on sat.) I feel so bad
because she is such a good baby, im just trying to get back to a new
normal life.
All of these could be last night was the worst night of sleep or lack of any for that matter.
All of these could be last night was the worst night of sleep or lack of any for that matter.
3 Weeks
Okay, so I didn't give up breastfeeding, I went out and bought a pump
to see if I can pump and heal at the same time. So far everything is
going good. One of my good friends has been my good to girl answering
every question I have. My other best friend, Lauren Spencer came up
yesterday to take some newborn pic and family ones. We are very excited
for these and so grateful Lauren would do that for us.
Here a sneak peak of the photo shoot.
Right now Brinley is more alert then ever. She gets a bath every night at 10 and only wakes up twice at night (2:30 & 5)
She and champ get along great!
We are so blessed to have here here finally!
Here a sneak peak of the photo shoot.
Right now Brinley is more alert then ever. She gets a bath every night at 10 and only wakes up twice at night (2:30 & 5)
She and champ get along great!
We are so blessed to have here here finally!
2 Weeks
I don't know where the time as gone? I feel like I was just checking
into the hospital and here I am at home rocking my 2 week old girl. Life
has been amazing, I'm still on a high having her around.
My mom has been here for the past two weeks and has really really really helped me out. From answering simple question to making me take my afternoon naps no matter what. She has been a huge part of my recovery.
Brinley surprised us all and slept 7 hours straight last night! What a treat that was even though I was still waking up to make sure she was breathing!
Surprise 2, I'm back in my old clothes. Still a shock
to me, I went on the scale and was only 4 lbs over from my pre-pregnancy
weight. I need to find and add the picture of my swollen feet after I
gave birth because I'm positive all that fluid weight was stuck in my
feet. We are going in now for her 2 week check up and we will see what
she weighs!
My mom has been here for the past two weeks and has really really really helped me out. From answering simple question to making me take my afternoon naps no matter what. She has been a huge part of my recovery.
Brinley surprised us all and slept 7 hours straight last night! What a treat that was even though I was still waking up to make sure she was breathing!
Breastfeeding
So far I want to record how I've been dealing with that. Each women
is so different so I wasn't sure how I would deal with it or my body.
You see back in 2004 I graduated from beauty school and decided to get a
breast reduction. I've always had larger then life boobs. So I knew
that would be a good time. When I was told the risk of not ever being
able to breastfeed to not having any problems I was worried but I had so
much confidence in my dr that I just felt like it would all work out.
So, I knew this day would be coming for a while now but knowing theirs a 50/50 chance is a bit scary.
When Brinley was born they placed her on my chest and she knew what to do and was looking around for some boob. She was a natural to begin with. Every nurse seemed to comment on it and what a good eater she was. I was so proud and happy that we were bonding. Things seemed to easy for a while. I don't remember exactly when but I started cracking. The pain was not fun. I was also breaking down because I didn't understand how long or much she needed to be fed. Only because with reductions you don't know how many milk ducks they take out and sometimes you have to feed her less but closer together. So I've been trying everything. Also her Dr said because of jaundice and how tiny she got down to 6'5 he asked if we wouldn't mind doing a ounce or two of formula a night.
My mom said she was told to give her babies a bottle once a week from dad so if anything ever happened for a while and I couldn't nurse she would still be okay with a bottled.
So we were fine with giving this a try. Again, I wasn't worried that it would effect her breastfeeding skills. You can get horror stories of babies never going back to breastfeeding. After the first night she was a trooper going back to breastfeeding. She is still doing great at both and has put on the weight the Dr wanted her to (even though Dr usually don't care if babies lose weight in their first few months, ours didn't want brynn to do that.)
Tomorrow we go back in to check her levels and it would be nice to have to give the lights up but we will see. After I see a nurse there who is a Lactation Consultant and will go over everything with me in helping out. I'm glad to hopefully get some relief and start tuffing these babies up.
So, I knew this day would be coming for a while now but knowing theirs a 50/50 chance is a bit scary.
When Brinley was born they placed her on my chest and she knew what to do and was looking around for some boob. She was a natural to begin with. Every nurse seemed to comment on it and what a good eater she was. I was so proud and happy that we were bonding. Things seemed to easy for a while. I don't remember exactly when but I started cracking. The pain was not fun. I was also breaking down because I didn't understand how long or much she needed to be fed. Only because with reductions you don't know how many milk ducks they take out and sometimes you have to feed her less but closer together. So I've been trying everything. Also her Dr said because of jaundice and how tiny she got down to 6'5 he asked if we wouldn't mind doing a ounce or two of formula a night.
My mom said she was told to give her babies a bottle once a week from dad so if anything ever happened for a while and I couldn't nurse she would still be okay with a bottled.
So we were fine with giving this a try. Again, I wasn't worried that it would effect her breastfeeding skills. You can get horror stories of babies never going back to breastfeeding. After the first night she was a trooper going back to breastfeeding. She is still doing great at both and has put on the weight the Dr wanted her to (even though Dr usually don't care if babies lose weight in their first few months, ours didn't want brynn to do that.)
Tomorrow we go back in to check her levels and it would be nice to have to give the lights up but we will see. After I see a nurse there who is a Lactation Consultant and will go over everything with me in helping out. I'm glad to hopefully get some relief and start tuffing these babies up.
Blood Clot Story
June 1- blood clots
It was busy after we got up to the recovery room on June 1st, but I was able to let everyone awe over her because I knew I always had to feed her and would get her back in my arms in no time.
My parents, Tay and Court left so we could have the rest of the afternoon and evening as a new little family.
I was just getting settled in and thought I should try my first bathroom break before I took a nap. Now, the first time you must have nurses help you to just make sure everything is good. After all your body just went through a lot delivering a baby. So I paged them and my RN and CNr came in to help. I was instructed to just slowly get to the side of the bed and wait then slowly stand up.
I remember feeling oh so weak! I was sore and needed all their help to stand. We took a min then stood up. My knees never felt so weird and weak. They asked if I were dizzy and I told them I wasn't so I tried taking a step towards my bathroom. Then that's when I felt really dizzy. I felt a huge gush of something come out. They laid me back down and check it out. I was hemorrhaging Just pushing a little on my stomach which was still a huge uterus blood would gush out. They kept doing this and when they decided it wouldn't stop they called my dr up. By then I had lost a lot of blood and. I felt so dizzy from this moment on I closed my eyes and begin to pray. I heard more and more nurses rushing in to help stabilize me. Joe was watching over Brinley until a nurse came it to watch her and Joe came by my side. Holding my hand and rubbing my hair and telling me what a good job I was doing, to hang in their, that the dr was coming. All encouraging phrases. I can't imagin what he must felt, i know my heart was with him blessing that he could handle what was going on around his wife as nurses tilt my bed towards my head so I wouldn't pass out.
I think I was throwing up at some point to which I often do when my body goes into shock. I was shaking from head to toe from the loss of blood. The Dr came in and I don't know what he told everyone to do but it wasn't working so the worst part that I remember was he had to go in. I remember him telling me or Joe she is really going to hate me after this. He had to reach with his hand up into my uterus (after just a few hours of having a baby and also stitches down there) and had to pull blood clots out the size of my fist. He had to push down on my stomach while doing this and I just wanted to die. I remember one point from keeping me from passing out was thinking of our precious new baby girl and how grateful I was that she is here and a part of our family that I thought I'm doing this for her! She is our everything, our forever, our life. They hooked up a few drugs that help make my uterus contract to push out any more blood clots. I could hear less and less nurses in there and more encouraging words around. They order the blood and got the transfusions going quickly. The first bag took about 3-4 hours for it to all go in safely.
Then they did a second pint and I was getting color back (what I was told). I don't remember much after, just that I was really tired and wanted to sleep.
It was busy after we got up to the recovery room on June 1st, but I was able to let everyone awe over her because I knew I always had to feed her and would get her back in my arms in no time.
My parents, Tay and Court left so we could have the rest of the afternoon and evening as a new little family.
I was just getting settled in and thought I should try my first bathroom break before I took a nap. Now, the first time you must have nurses help you to just make sure everything is good. After all your body just went through a lot delivering a baby. So I paged them and my RN and CNr came in to help. I was instructed to just slowly get to the side of the bed and wait then slowly stand up.
I remember feeling oh so weak! I was sore and needed all their help to stand. We took a min then stood up. My knees never felt so weird and weak. They asked if I were dizzy and I told them I wasn't so I tried taking a step towards my bathroom. Then that's when I felt really dizzy. I felt a huge gush of something come out. They laid me back down and check it out. I was hemorrhaging Just pushing a little on my stomach which was still a huge uterus blood would gush out. They kept doing this and when they decided it wouldn't stop they called my dr up. By then I had lost a lot of blood and. I felt so dizzy from this moment on I closed my eyes and begin to pray. I heard more and more nurses rushing in to help stabilize me. Joe was watching over Brinley until a nurse came it to watch her and Joe came by my side. Holding my hand and rubbing my hair and telling me what a good job I was doing, to hang in their, that the dr was coming. All encouraging phrases. I can't imagin what he must felt, i know my heart was with him blessing that he could handle what was going on around his wife as nurses tilt my bed towards my head so I wouldn't pass out.
I think I was throwing up at some point to which I often do when my body goes into shock. I was shaking from head to toe from the loss of blood. The Dr came in and I don't know what he told everyone to do but it wasn't working so the worst part that I remember was he had to go in. I remember him telling me or Joe she is really going to hate me after this. He had to reach with his hand up into my uterus (after just a few hours of having a baby and also stitches down there) and had to pull blood clots out the size of my fist. He had to push down on my stomach while doing this and I just wanted to die. I remember one point from keeping me from passing out was thinking of our precious new baby girl and how grateful I was that she is here and a part of our family that I thought I'm doing this for her! She is our everything, our forever, our life. They hooked up a few drugs that help make my uterus contract to push out any more blood clots. I could hear less and less nurses in there and more encouraging words around. They order the blood and got the transfusions going quickly. The first bag took about 3-4 hours for it to all go in safely.
Then they did a second pint and I was getting color back (what I was told). I don't remember much after, just that I was really tired and wanted to sleep.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Brinleys birth story June 1, 2012
Brinley's Birth Story
It was Thursday May 31, 2012 and I was dealing with my hemorrhoids so I don't know if that took my mind off of my pregnancy.
Anyways I was waiting for Joe to come home from work, we had dinner then he went back to his studying at the kitchen table while I got ready for bed. I remember laying in bed and feeling a little bit of fluid, just enough to make me get out of bed and go to the bathroom. It happened a few more times before I told Joe, "I think my water might be leaking?" I never knew that your water could slowly leak until we went to our all day labor and delivery class just a few weeks ago. So, we disscuse this for a min and decided to call my mom and see what she thought. She wasn't sure but said if we went in they could check the fluid and let us know if that is what is leaking or if I'm just not good at holding in my pee. So we started getting things together. I had a bag already packed for Brinley and me but Joe didn't know if he should put on jeans or sweats.
I decided to wear a huge pad to see if I could tell anymore. We called my neighbor who was going to watch champ and decided to just let champ sleep at our place and she would get him in the morning.
Our drive was quick to the hospital and a bit quiet. When we got there we went straight to labor and delivery to check in. Right away the told is all the rooms were full but some were still getting clean so it would be a min. A mature nurse was standing behind the receptionist and when I told them I was sure if my water was leaking or what she gave me a eye roll and asked if it was my first. I informed her it was and that's why I wasn't sure.
They had me come over to the nurses station to start answering question they normally do in the room. By this time the watery stuff had soak thru the pad and thru my pants and as I got up to follow her to a room I felt a rush of water go down my legs. We both laugh as I told joe to get our bags in the car because we are staying to have a baby. He ended up following to the room with all our excitement.
They had to get my IV started right away because I tested positive for strep B. Then they checked to see if I was dilated and told me I was maybe a finger tip, not even a 1. I thought wow, I'm going to probably have a long labor.
They told us to get some sleep and just relax. We were so excited we started calling family members. My parents pack up and jumped in the car about mid-night and drove all night!
Around 1:25 my dinner came up and they gave me zofran.
I started feeling the contractions right when joe feel asleep.
It was about a 4-5 on my pain scale which wasn't bad just not anything I could sleep thru. I started have some that would reach the top on the contraction chart they had me hooked up to. My nurse informed me I could get my epidural whenever I wanted. So I told myself I would wait until I had 3 more really bad constrations. So at 3:44am I requested the magic drug. The bummer was the dr just went in for an emergency c section and I would have to wait 30-45 mins to have the epidural. I was so happy I asked for it early on rather then right when I was in dying pain. I didn't know if I was even dilated.
At 4:30am the dr came in to give the epidural, he was so nice and so fast. He explained everything and I thought the whole thing was painless for me, just a bee sting here and there. So with no pain and wide awake Joe and I popped in a DVD of FRIENDS. After two episodes we were tired and decided to get any sleep we could. I woke up at 7:22 and nurse Kim ( one of the Best!) came in to check me. So sad to say I was only dilated to a 3 1/2 and still 90% effaced. She said my body is doing everything good and at a good rate so I wouldn't need pitocium.
I had my catheter in and feeling great, not even feel pregnant at all or in labor. Just having a good good time.
How was excited to check out the cafeteria and get some breakfast. While he was gone Kim checked me again and this time I was a 7!!
By this time I was progressing quickly. At 9am I was 9cm dilated and 10am I was a 10! I felt like once I hit 9 they tried to slow things down a bit because we had not reached my dr yet.
30 mins later we found out my Dr was at Zion's national park! Such a bummer but it was going to be okay. I had the on call dr, Dr. Klemperer.
The nurse had to get me all ready before the Dr came in so we started pushing. She asked Joe if he was interested in helping and holding my leg up and we both knew that would never happen, so they had to call in another nurse. We did 3 counts to 10 for some time, I think it was 30-45 mins but it seemed a lot shorter to me. Joe was great at helping me breath and counted for me. The nurses were great and funny. One got paged on her walkie talkie and without thinking responded " I can't come now, I'm pushing" we were laughing because she felt my pain like it was her own. Of course I still wasn't feeling any pain or discomfort.
Once I was ready the Dr came in and had me push for 10-20 mins, that was the craziest feeling I can not explain.
At 11:27am Brinley was out and in my arms. With lots of dark hair, beautiful lips and a cute button nose. Joe got to cut the cord and be the first to hold her after I had skin to skin and breastfed her.
My parents had made it up after driving all night and came at the perfect time when they were just taking me up to my room where I would stay for 3 days.
Taylor and Courtney also came in with my parents and brought some cute stuff animals for her. It was a wonderful delivery for me and everyone there was such a big help!
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